he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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