What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
