somebody snuck up and got me drunk
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
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He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Let's paint friendship bongs
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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