i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I think I sprained my soul last night
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Randomize
