So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
