in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
