So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
