ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
