Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
