Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
