My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
