New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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