i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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