Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
