Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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