just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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