I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
