can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
