Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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