it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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