I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
