I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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