You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
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