mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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