It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
