Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize