trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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