Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
