i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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