my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
