Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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