Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Randomize
