So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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