Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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