Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
