As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
