Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
