i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
