Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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