I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
