We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
