I'm pants shitting drunk right now
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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