I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
