i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
