so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Actions speak louder than pants.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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