yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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