I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
