I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
