seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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