I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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