Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
She said her name was "party"
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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