I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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