he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
