As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
