i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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