My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
A bitchslap is in order.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
