I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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