I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
