Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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