i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
