I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
