For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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