She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
