Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
