I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
This is the high leading the old right now
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize