Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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